What month is it?

The tour is starting to wind down. I have one more big gig coming up in Harrisburg, PA this weekend. It's a great Film Festival as part of the ARTSFEST here. It's a festival put on by people who really love movies. The admission is free to most events, and they get good crowds. I have been here before and I am hoping for the best, that means DVD sales...

The weather has been cold and rainy, you know I could have stayed in Oregon and gotten cold and rainy. I didn't have to drive all over the country for bad weather.

And speaking of driving...

I must say that I have finally figured out this whole gas crisis stuff. Have you noticed that the prices are going down again. It's because I am getting off the road soon. They only raise the gas prices when I go out on tour. It has nothing to do with that Fat Exxon's Bastards pension and retirement. They raised the prices when I did last Fall's tour, and they waited to do it again for the Spring. No conspiracies, no nothing. The Oil Company people and our government (the ex oil industry guys), all they care about is the good of the people. They don't really want to raise the oil prices, they don't really want to make BILLIONS of dollars profit. It's just me hitting the road. That's all. So we can stop the hearings and the name calling. I'm going home soon and the prices will get back to normal. It's all my fault and I'll take the blame for the price hikes.

I will say one thing though. Next week, don't even try calling me. I am turning off my phone, ignoring email and getting home to my kid. Moses and I are beat, but we've had a pretty good time.

Like Saturday Night in Baltimore. After my screening at the Hamilton Arts Collective (check these folks out, they're great www.hamiltonartscollective.org ), naturally it was late and I got lost heading back to Creative Alliance where I was staying. I took a few wrong turns, it was dark. I got in to a couple of neighborhoods where I saw these blue flashing lights on the telephone poles. I thought great, those lights are tipping me off to the fact that the Baltimore Police have cameras at intersections, probably so people won't run red lights. WRONG!

I was told that those lights are set up in neighborhoods where there is lots of drugs and crime, and the police are watching these areas, for CRIME! I just want the Baltimore Police to know, that the Van with the Oregon license plates and the roof rack was LOST! I wasn't trying to score, even though I was going up and down those streets many times. I was just trying to find the right street to get me back home. HONEST! I don't want to end up on a COPS episode. I was sober, and my shirt was on. I was just lost.

Ah, life on the road. Not just a job, an adventure. I did wonder why Moses was staring out the windows the whole time we were driving. he seemed on edge. Even he probably knew about the blue lights. At least I can honestly say, I didn't run any stop lights that night...

Talk later.

Kelley

What am I still doing out here...

May 15th

I am still on the road...

I am currently in St. Paul, MN hanging out with some old friends from Film School. Man that was a long time ago...

Things I've learned on this trip. I have been on the road too long. I am tired, but also this time of year there isn't much going on. Most colleges are out so that tears in to my income. Next Spring I need to tour for a shorter time. Maybe head out towards the beginning of March and be done at the beginning of May. I think it'll be more efficient.

Also, I am getting grief from my daughter from being gone so long, and she's right. This is a tough time in her life and I'm not around. I missed her first play 2 weeks ago and as mad as she got at me, it didn't hurt me as much as me knowing that I had really missed out on something. I feel like a dick.

I have to remember that this is really the first thing that I have missed with her, but it still burns. How do we juggle our lives and our work? I try to make her understand that I need to be on the road right now, and all I can hope for is that it won't damage our long term relationship.

It is interesting for me right now. I just sold my home of 20 years to pay off all my debts, including the IRS, so when I go home I have no home to go back to. A lot of people are asking me if I can truly make money by touring and I have to say honestly, I don't know. I think so, and I wouldn't be risking every thing out here if I didn't think I could. The answer is still out there.

It would help if some of you people who I have sent emails to would reply to me! You know who you are, and traditionally you're teachers. Why are Professors and College Instructors so bad about returning emails. Do I scare you? Or maybe it's that you can't believe that I have done all the stuff I have done. Every thing in my cover letter is true, as well as everything on my bio. So bring me to your school and I promise the students will learn, and you might as well.

So here I am. I have 11 days to go and 3 gigs. 2 in Baltimore and one in Harrisburg, PA. Come see me and buy my stuff. Also start talking to me about next Fall. I am not that scary!

Okay, I got to go. later.

Kelley

Just bitching...

May Day! May Day! Workers of the World Unite! We have nothing to lose but our chains...

Okay so it's May 4th, I'm late.

Okay, that's a bit heavy, but as I recall traditionally this is a day to celebrate the worker.

And speaking of workers, I want to put in a plug for one of my favorite bands, who celebrate the workers. Let's hear it for the DROPKICK MURPHYS. A great band, who are pissed about everything, especially the plight of the workers in any country. I must say that they are my constant companions when I am on the road. Their stuff is kick ass! Go out and buy their music.
If I ever make it to Boston, or you guys make it to Portland, when I am home, I would love to meet you and just hang out. Your hearts and souls are in the right place.

So let me get something else off my chest.

As you know, part of my work involves driving around the country and showing my movies and teaching work shops. I put on 12-14,000 miles on any given tour.

I don't have a problem with smokers. I am an asthmatic, and I still go to bars, and hell, some of my good friends smoke. If that's what they want to do, so be it. I have no problem with that. I like having smoking and non-smoking sections in restaurants, bars, and public places. If you want to smoke, go for it! I know second hand smoke and all of that, but if people want to smoke they're going to so let's not get all upset about that. You can ban it, and we saw how well banning something that people like worked, remember Prohibition, and the current war on drugs, yeah that's really worked. People are going to smoke, I say let em!

Here's my question... WHICH PART OF THE CIGARETTE IS NOT LITTER!

I see people throw their cigarettes on the ground, toss them from their car windows, and basically leave them all over the place for the rest of us to find. What the fuck is up with that? I am so tired of seeing people throw cigarettes out their car windows. Would you throw out food wrappers? Bottles and cans? Maybe you would I don't know. But cars come with ash trays for a reason. Use them! Employers and Cities put garbage cans on the streets for a reason. Use them!

I carry a package of fucking bags around in my car so that when my dog takes a dump I can pick it up and dispose of it properly. If I can pick up dog shit, you morons can pick up your god damn butts!

ALL OF YOUR CIGARETTE IS LITTER, especially when you throw the butts on to the ground.

Like I said, I don't have a problem with smokers, especially the ones I've dated. I just wish they wouldn't throw their trash all over the country. You know who you are...